My first "Quoting" Journal.

I found this journal at Target, of all places.  They usually have a whole section of journals on hand in all types of materials and designs, which tempt me every time I set foot down that aisle. This journal practically jumped into my hands and I had no choice but to bring it home.

I didn't initially know what I would use it for, but it soon became the place where I would begin recording the random sayings of my husband.

At some point in time I lost this journal and my husband was the prime suspect, of course...although in the back of my head, I doubted whether someone who would post his stream of consciousness on Facebook if he had the time and if technology allowed someone to post their thoughts directly onto social media, would actually hide my seemingly benign buttony journal...

I found it eventually and I was sad that I had missed out on so many hilarious quotes...I guess this Target journal is the only thing worthy of quoting such things, as I will soon share.

I have to be honest that as time has gone on, his hilarious, non-sensical, deep and profound thoughts and sayings have become so commonplace that at times I'm too lazy to document them.  However, with my husband, I'm learning that if I continue to listen and am willing to learn, many more quotes will present themselves...and I'm sure someday I'll be rich if I take the time to be a proper journalist and record them.

Whenever I read these quotes, I laugh so hard; sometimes harder than I do when I open my book of Bushisms, but not quite as hard as my book of Jack Handy...

Here are a few examples to get my day going in the right direction:

• "Jesus loved to give us illustrations...which made us look like idiots...which we are." 

• "The reason that Dr. Seuss writes about this cat, causing all the trouble, is because usually the kids cause the trouble not the cat, so he uses reverse psychology on the readers in order to make the kids who are reading it trying to prevent the cat from causing trouble and maybe the kids will think twice about making a mess in their own home."  (Referring to the book "The Cat in the Hat.").

• "You'd literally have to talk to the Eskimos and find out how they sleep through the night; unless you're telling me that they don't live in igloos."  (Referring to an Ice Hotel we saw on TV). 

• "My wife's a therapist and she can figure out people's symptoms by their symptoms.  Sometimes she calls me a hoarder, although I usually hoard in the garage and not in the house."  (During one of many spontaneous practice preaching sessions). 

• "...I mean the cat wasn't there or anything.  I mean you'd think the cat would be there since it's such a part of the family, like sitting in a milk crate on the table or something." (Referring to an event he shot where the girl was all about her cat). 

• Overheard: "Yeah all my bullies from school either ended up dead, in jail, or working for the district."

• "I'm NOT going to Walmart; I'm not an alien; I don't like sci-fi." 

• "I got there right as all the college students came...I think they were sleeping all day and woke up and realized, 'Hey I'm hungry'" (After going grocery shopping). 

• "If she wants a husband then order one from France!" (Regarding something he saw on the show "The Bachelor").